Somewhere in this process I have confused my definition of God-sized with something else.
Here's what I'm hearing God say to me right now:
- God-sized is about God not me
- my expectations are not His - my definition of success is not the same as His
- God-sized does not mean I will have all the answers before I start
- God-sized is about faith
- God-sized is a little scary.
How much more God-sized is it if I see the plan God has for me and move ahead, one-step at a time, trusting him to provide the next thing, then the next, then the next? What if I step out in faith and obedience with no idea how things will work - only a solid belief that they will work? Is that life-changing for me? Heart changing? How could it not be?
Does this negate the need for planning and research? I don't think so. God is a God of order, not chaos. He also expects us to be wise and to be good stewards. This means that we don't waste time and resources reinventing the wheel. We also don't choose projects that will bring us recognition and praise, but at the end of the day, don't really make a difference.
I think that we research, talk to others who know about the issue we are addressing, pray for God's leadership...then we step out on faith. What will that step look like? Telling someone, gathering a group, taking food to someone, meeting someone in need, putting aside my own comfort to help someone else? Any of those things and more.
My point is, God-sized is more about my heart than about my project. I have been praying about my calling and my role in ministry. Is it now time to start working? Is it time to take the first step so that God can reveal the next one? I think it might be.
God looks at the heart, not the size of my project or the number of people I help, or what I may deem a success. Do I trust him because I know him because I spend time with him? If I answer yes, then what am I waiting for? What am I waiting for?
What are you waiting for?