It was a very emotional day for me and I think I used up every emotion in the book - it felt like it anyway. It started with shock and moved to sadness, then anger, then anxiety, then disgust, then complete amazement that people actually live such hard lives that this situation didn't even phase them. Then I was back to anger and blame and seemed to bounce between those two for the rest of the day.
I spent most of the day feeling very sad for my patient and very angry at her family. By the time that last phone call came in I was done with them all!
It was a day propelled along by emotions. As I said earlier, not exactly a stellar day for me as a social worker or a Christian.
Sometimes I literally feel the need to be cleansed - washed clean so I can have a fresh start. That's how I feel today. I can't go back and undo yesterday. I can't relive it - thank God! I can't fix it. Can't fix me for that matter.
But God can.
Here is my scripture for today:
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness!
I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion:
therefore I will wait for him.'
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him.
It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."
New every morning! Doesn't that sound just perfect?
Yes, God has washed me clean from this - he accepts my apology and is faithful to forgive me every time.
1 John 1:9 says that, and it's true.
Today is a new day. I've been forgiven because I am a much loved Jesus girl. You can't ask for a better start to a day than that.
I've been blogging this week about audacious faith and living intentionally with boldness for God. I should not think that comes without mistakes. It doesn't - but God does. If he sees something in me worth forgiving and starting over it must be there. He never makes mistakes.
It's a great day when you can be loved and forgiven and useful to God.
Lord let me live audaciously for you today. Thank you for giving me a new start
It's your turn: have you experienced God's mercies and compassions this week?