Sometimes I'm such a spiritual wimp! I think God must look down on me some days and just shake his head and sigh heavily.
I don't blame him.
I've been feeling like that lately: burned out, used up, completely drained of everything I need to do my work. Sometimes I just let myself daydream about winning the lottery and running away. Have you ever done that?
Since I don't buy lottery tickets the chances of me winning the lottery are...well, not good! God is faithful, though. and he knows what I need and just when to send it. I have a little book that I'm reading called
Mother Teresa, Her Essential Wisdom, that is just full of things she learned during her life of service. One struck me right between the eyes today when I read it. I have highlighted it and put one of those little sticky flags on it so I can go back and read it again and again. Here's what it says:
"Sometime back, a high government official
said, 'You are doing social work and we also are
doing the same. But we are doing it for something
and you are doing it for somebody.' To do our work we have
to be in love with God."
That made this social worker sit up and take notice...and God used it to convict my heart. Sometime along the way I have forgotten who called me to this place of service, who prepared the way and opened the door for me. Because of that, I have lost sight of why I am here. My focus has become the daily, growing mountain of paperwork and policy, and I have lost sight of the mission for which he placed me here.
I am here to serve others and bring them the love of God.
I read that quote again and realized that I have lost my focus and begun to serve my company instead of my King. I have begun to see my job as one frustration after another instead of a time for God to refine and teach and use me for his glory.
NO WONDER I'M SUCH A SPIRITUAL WIMP!
I think I need to spend this weekend asking God to help me remember why I do what I do. I need a renewed vision, a renewed calling, a renewed sense of purpose. That's not always an easy thing to do, but as they say, acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step. As I do this I know that I can count on the following to be true:
- God loves me unconditionally
- God is always true to his nature and never changing
- God is quick to forgive and restore if I will just ask
- God's plan for me was determined before the world began - it has not changed.
- My strength is and always will be in him - I will always be wimpy compared to him
- He chooses to use me anyway
That's what I want. I want to be a light in a time of darkness, a voice of hope in a time of frustration, the difference that points the way to Christ for those around me.
I have some work to do - or rather,to allow God to do. How about you? Has your perspective become warped? Have you forgotten that in difficult times, he is there with purpose and plan?
What is it that you need to allow God to do in your life this weekend? Will you let him do it?