We've had a few days like that at our house lately. It's hard to believe it's early April - this year seems a decade old already. The good thing about this is it's made me stay tight with God. I've fasted this past month and prayed for understanding, wisdom, strength and courage. A lot of courage. Sometimes I think I'm the world's biggest weenie!
No surprise...God has been extraordinarily faithful. He can't help but be that. He promises if we seek him we will find him. He also promises that his mercies are new every morning AND if we keep our minds focused on him instead of our circumstances he will give us perfect peace.
I've struggled a lot lately with how we can trust and still feel anxious or unsettled or afraid. It seems you can't do both, but what I'm coming to believe is that trust is a CHOICE not a feeling. Over and over in my journal I wrote out the things I worried about - the things that made my stomach knot up. Then I wrote:
but I choose to trust you!
Feelings can get in the way, can't they? Especially if you're like me and live more emotionally than practically. I don't mean hysterically or out of control. I mean that you trust your gut when making decisions.
When we're overwhelmed with anxiety or fear, those feelings can get distorted and get in the way. So, I have come to believe that like forgiveness, trust is first a choice, then maybe a feeling.
It's easy to trust when everything is fine and you feel good, isn't it? Much harder when you're in the middle of the storm and getting sea sick from the waves.
Do you trust God to be faithful? Really trust him? You can put him to the test. He will never slip up. He will never forget to take care of you. He will never leave you alone in a storm.
Thank you, Jesus, for pursuing us every minute of every day. For being faithful to us because you have to be faithful to your own nature. Teach us to trust you, to claim your faithfulness every day. Thank you for giving us rest when we feel we can't take another step, and for holding us together when we are broken. Thank you for making the ugly beautiful. We love you so much!
